My CD player is broken, so because I wanted to listen to the Missa Solemnis tonight I've been walking around my apartment with my headphones on, carrying my personal CD player. I stopped at the sink and rinsed a glass and thought of a Smashing Pumpkins album, Adore. Actually I am often reminded of it when I wash dishes, but this time, especially.

A few years ago I was living with my girlfriend, in the summer, in my usual apartment (she was just staying for a few months). We had a big fight over my not washing the dishes, which I am terrible about. As a consequence I washed dishes. I was there for a very long time, and as I stood there I listened to my headphones, which I had grabbed along with an old carry case to strap the CD player over my shoulder. I had just gotten the Smashing Pumpkins album recently, and I liked it. It was moody enough to suit me while I washed, and simmered. I can't remember the last time I listened to it. And I don't want to go listen to it now. Not because of the associations (it wasn't that bad a fight). I just don't want to.